Friday, May 8, 2015

Back to the Beginning...

  Incase you haven't noticed, I've been kind of on a blogging hiatus for a bit.  In some ways it hasn't been all the intentional, considering I've actually been pretty busy.  However, in other ways, it's been a pretty conscious decision. 
  One thing I didn't want when I took up blogging again, was for me to start writing for other people.  While I often share my blog postings on my Facebook and twitter page, I didn't want to fall back into the trap of censoring what I was saying or how I was wording things in order to please other people.  I wanted to be real and authentic and to not hold back just because I was worried about what other people would think.  Well...basically..those are exactly the type of things that started happening, so I took some time away. 
  The truth is I've never posted anything here that I didn't mean, although I definitely worded things a little more carefully then I would have liked to.  However, I can't tell you the amount of times I written something and then deleted it cause I felt like, if I posted it  others wouldn't understand or  someone might take offense or raise an objection or be concerned.  And while there's been times that I've still gone ahead and posted those things (without really "advertising" those particular postings), I've more often than not chipped away parts of my real self in order to present an online personality that is more....shall we say agreeable.
  I'm done with that.  There's no point of having a blog if it's not going to be real....if I have to fake who I am or how I'm feeling just so I don't lose readers.  I didn't start this blog to gain readers in the first spot.  This has never been about having a spotlight.  I started this cause I  wanted a space where I could share what's going on in my life and what God's teaching me through it....a plot of land where I could lay down the tracks of my glorious unfolding (even if it doesn't always seem so glorious).
  So I guess it's time for a take 2....for a refocus and a remembrance of what this is all about.  I can't promise you that I will be the most consistent writer, as life as a way of catching up to me and sometimes even running me over, but when I do write (which will hopefully be more often) I do promise to be more real and honest and uninhibited by what I'm "suppose" to say and think and feel.  I hope you'll continue to follow along with me....who knows maybe something I share will open up a conversation or two that really needs to be talked about.... but ultimately this is for me, to share myself with my future self, so that I can look back and see where I've been while on my way to where I'm going.....after all, this is MY glorious unfolding!
   

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