It's funny how certain things stick with you over the years. For example, at the end of my first year as a missionary, our team had a retreat where a guest speaker came and talked to us for three days. On the first night he was speaking, he shared about seeds, and how when a seed is planted it is covered with dirt, stepped on, and often forgot about for long periods. Now, while the gardener is most likely still watering the ground the seed is in, and the sun is still offering it its rays, the seed doesn't know this. In fact the seed often feels abandoned, alone, forgetten. Then one day the seed starts to pop out of the earth, as it grows into whatever plant or tree it was meant to be. It's then that the seed realizes that it was necessary for it to be in the dirt, but it was never forgotten about, and there was always a plan and a purpose for it. His words were meant to encourage those of us who were feeling deserted and rejected by God and others. I honestly have not thought about that sermon in years. But then today I was sitting in church, and our pastor was talking about how in the verse Isaiah 54:3 the word used for offspring or descendants actually means seed. All of a sudden it was like I was sitting back in Ecuador listening to that guess speaker remind me about seeds and dirt and the process of growth.
When I think over the course of my life, there are a lot of seeds that I have tried to plant for the kingdom of God, but if I am honest, I haven't really seen much fruit. In fact, if I was truly vulnerable, I often think of the people I have tried to invest in and walk beside for a time, and I wonder if they feel abandoned and forgotten by me. See I am really good at dropping seeds in the ground, but not so good at being a gardener and cultivating those seeds long term. I have allowed God to lead me into multiple and various types of ministries, but the second things have gotten too hard for me to deal with, I have abandoned ship and bolted, leaving a trail of unkept gardens behind me.
Thankfully, God is more faithful than me, and He cares about all his children in a way that surpasses any efforts I could try to humanly conjure up. As I sat working on my computer this afternoon, I just kept thinking about all those seeds I have left in the dirt, and then, like a salve to a burn, God reminded me of a little portion of scripture in 1 Corinthians 3, where Paul states "One plants. Another waters. But it's God who brings the increase" (verse 6). I can worry all I want about the mistakes I have made and the lack of fruit I feel like I have produced in my life but in reality none of that matters. At least not in the way I have been looking at it. I am not building my own kingdom, I am planting to build the kingdom of God, and it is God who will ultimately produce the fruit. My job is to be faithful to Him, and in doing so, I can trust that even when I feel like I've left seeds unattended and uncared for, He's the one who will ultimately bring those plants to fruition. I may still need to repent about a few things and let go of a few others, but there is so much comfort in knowing none of those seeds I tried to plant in God's name were placed in vain. God is faithful, and He will finish the work He began when I took steps to place those seeds in the ground. People are never abandoned or forgotten in His eyes, and He has a purpose in everything!
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