The comparison game is such an easy trap to fall into. Either we are looking at others, thinking about how much "better" they are then us, thus feeling worse about ourselves. Or we are looking at ourselves, thinking about how much "better" we are then someone else, thus forcing them to some sort of rank below us! It's such a silly thing to do considering we all have things we are going to do better or worse than others, yet we do it anyway...and I think it's one of the biggest schemes of the devil to distract us from what's really important! I would like to think that I am above the comparison game...but I'm not.
I shared several weeks ago how God has been speaking to me a lot about just being myself and that I am not called to be "Heidi Baker" or "Todd White". I just need to be me, and you need to be you, in order for the body of Christ to actually function as it is suppose to. Yet day one of our medical brigade, I found myself immediately comparing myself to everyone in the room. I thought....well this one is way more spiritual than me, and this one knows way more Spanish than me, and this one is more trained than me... and before I knew it I was starting to convince myself that what mattered most in a "Prayer Room" was OUR giftings and talents and not the power of GOD. The funny thing is, the second I repented, and took my eyes off myself and placed them on Him, I saw God do some amazing things in and through me!
To give a little backstory, when I found out that our part of the team was going to the Medical Brigade, I asked that I could do something other than working with the children. The truth of the matter is that Children's ministry is something I can do in my sleep and I knew falling back into that comfort zone wouldn't force me to rely on God...and I wanted to be stretched! So I asked to be in the prayer room, because while I do have a healthy prayer life, I had never been on a designated prayer team or worked in a designated prayer room. It's something that is completely out of my comfort zone and I knew I wouldn't be able to walk in my own strength...I had to rely on God!
Leading up to the trip, it never once crossed my mind that in joining the prayer team, I... the girl who has struggled so much to learn Spanish and feel confident in speaking it...would be translating though. So during our team meeting about the trip, when I first found out I would be translating in the prayer room, I started to freak out a bit. This was definitely something even more out of my comfort zone, but a part of me still sort of thought that maybe my prayer partner from the states would know some Spanish.
When we all arrived at the medical brigade, I quickly realized that my prayer-mate did not know Spanish and that this would be the first time either of us would work on a prayer team! At that moment a part of me really wanted to change my mind and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction...but I knew I had to be strong and the only way I could do that was to rely on the strength of God....and when I did, God showed up strong!
Not only did I step so far out of my comfort zone that I literally felt like I was walking on water in the midst of the deepest ocean, and that if God didn't come through I would drown, but I met God out there in the midst of the waves! On top of that, God couldn't have given me a better partner in crime! As I said above, I had a moment in the beginning of the brigade where I found myself comparing myself to others on the "team" and it was actually something my prayer-mate said that put me at ease and reminded me that I (we) needed to just be who God created us to be, and God would use it!
Over the next week or so, as I personally process all that happened in our time at the Medical Brigade, I am sure I will share more stories. But for tonight, I just want to testify to the goodness of God and to how trustworthy He truly is! During my time in the prayer room, I was able to see first hand the love that God has for all His children (even those who don't realize they are His) and how when He wants to touch His people, all He needs is a willing heart to work through! I encourage us all tonight, to be that willing heart, and to allow God to continue to work through us to touch this world, for His glory! Amen
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